it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
this is an emotional support booty call
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
