The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
