Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
