you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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