I want to have your abortion
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
