I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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