My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
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I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
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You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.