I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?