I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
