haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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