I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
