I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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