do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
