its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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