Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize