there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
