Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
