the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
