Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
