glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
