it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
