when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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