are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
and she was petting her beer can
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
