non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize