I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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