thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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