Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
