i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
