omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize