He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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