I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
