i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
