My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
