You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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