she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
