You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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