Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Come see our sink grown plant.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
How external is "for external use only"?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
