"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
