y did u give ur computer a hand job?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize