Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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