did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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