he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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