its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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