I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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