and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
