are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
