My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
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Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
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Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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