Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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