two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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