I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
