sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
