It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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