We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
