i need an iv and a liver transplant
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
