onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
