I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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