I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize
