ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
