I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
