wanna go halves on a baby?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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