is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
