I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
