Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
