what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
