Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
