Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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