We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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