I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
