we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
